Resignation

To whom it may concern,

I would like to officially submit my resignation as mom. I feel I am no longer qualified to raise people. The position has become beyond my education and skill. I am sorry to inform you I will not be able to train a new mom or wait until the position has been filled. If I have to wait for a teenager to come home one more night or see another one cry about orthodontia I just might eat my young.
Finally I understand Sexy Sarah. Sometimes the job just isn't any fun anymore.