Gluhwein is to be sipped while shopping at an outside Christmas market in Germany. Unfortunately, I wasn't at a Weihnachtsmarkt but was very honored to be sharing a glass with some lovely new friends in the warmth of our dining room. I thought it tasted much like a really good bottle of cherry flavored NyQuil heated to 170'.

So, this hot alcoholic beverage has got me thinking...how do we, as parents, keep warm during the bitterly cold season of adolescence? The opportunity to second guess eachother turn on eachother, and eventually part ways can grow on an hourly basis. At the end of the day, the children will be gone and we will have to face our relationship head on. I speak of the marital relationship, particularly the two people who created this family unit but that is often not the case and therefore can refer to 2nd marriages and beyond. Regardless, if you have survived first your own teenage years and then your children's, you may find a few minutes when it is all said and done, to look at yourself and your partner and take stock. Just how much collateral damage was there?

There are days that it feels like war and much like the warring factions of Falluja, it isn't always easy to tell who is on who's side. It is important to determine early on (end of grade school at the latest) which team you will be on. Are you a Jet or a Shark? The kids never seem to have this problem but us parents can really screw this part up. Get a game plan and go forth. Strike early and don't leave any men down in enemy territory. Those youths are dangerous and can easily brainwash a lone parent, watch out for traps which can come in the form of last minute school projects and a late night drive to Kinkos. 

In the quest to make moral, healthy and happy people who go off to college and don't take all of your money, you can certainly risk your friendships, partnerships and especially yourself if you aren't very careful. Be gentle with the parents you know who are fighting this fight and be reverent to those who made it. These years are not for sissy's and leaves many in therapy for years to come or at the very least, committed pill poppers.

So here we are, back at the Gluhwein. What is your glue-wine that keeps you warm and loving your mate in the cold? In the old days, when wine went bad they added spices and honey to make it good again. If you find your whine has gone bad and is no longer appreciated, try adding something sweet and mull it over a bit.